Polyjuice Potion
by phoenical-maniax
Summary: Yes, I am twisted. Ron using Polyjuice Potion to imitate Crabbe. Ron having sex with a Polyjuiced Harry a.k.a. Goyle. SLASH! Implied RonxHarry, CrabbexGoyle, RonxGoyle, DumbledorexCrabbe. MANIAC IS BACK! T for paranoia. Part 1 of Amortentia


Polyjuice Potion

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Warning: SLASH! Implied Ron/Harry, Crabbe/Goyle. A bit of Ron/Goyle. Vaguely implied Dumbledore/Crabbe. Ebil laugh.**

**Disclaimer: You didn't know that J K Rowling is only fifteen, did you?**

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For some reason, ever since Harry and I had used the Polyjuice Potion to get into the Slytherin Common Room, I had found that I really liked pretending to be Crabbe. I seemed to be a worryingly good actor. Dumbledore had already approached me, asking me to meet him in his office later that evening. What Dumbledore might want Crabbe in his office for – with a pair of socks – I had no idea. I didn't really want to know, either, and I certainly wasn't going to go out of my way to give the real Crabbe the message.

I just about jumped out of my skin when I saw a far-too-intelligent Goyle approaching me. He must be Harry, I decided.

"Hi," I grunted. "You too?" My question referred, of course, to the Polyjuice Potion.

He looked at me blankly for a moment, then nodded.

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I gulped down the Polyjuice Potion quickly, and went looking for a Goyle-shaped Harry. Finally, I found him wandering about near the entrance to the kitchens.

He followed me to an empty classroom, knowing that Harry knew that I knew who he was, and that Harry knew who I really was. He always drank the Potion about the same time as me, and he must have done that again, since I had seen him near the kitchens five minutes before I came back as Crabbe.

"You want to… you know…" Harry trailed off.

I nodded and we got on with it, as usual.

Some time later, my thoughts predictably flickered over how bizarre it was that Harry and I had both had Polyjuice Potion. Of course, it wouldn't do for someone to walk in on us as Ron and Harry: at least, this way, we wouldn't _actually_ be discovered. For all I knew, I could have been having sex with Gregory Goyle, rather than the person I really wanted to have it with!

But I knew from Goyle's expression – pure and simple love – that he couldn't be anyone other than my Harry. And I was glad it was true.

As my hour neared its end, I started snogging Harry. Originally, this had been so that we would be better with the girls, but we discovered that we both enjoyed it, and gradually extended our repertoire. I hadn't needed to use any of that knowledge on girls yet, but Harry and I made an effort to use it on each other every week, at least.

Finally, I felt myself shrinking. Oddly, I'd never spent as long as this with Harry when we had Polyjuice Potion. We must just have got carried away that day.

This part was never as painful as the initial transformation. But something was wrong… oh, yes. Harry hadn't started changing back yet. Well, give him five minutes…

Five minutes passed, and I kept changing, but Harry didn't. And he hadn't had anything to eat or drink since I'd met up with him over an hour ago. So unless he'd somehow managed to modify the Potion so that its effects lasted longer, which I doubted he could do…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Goyle and I threw each other backwards in mutual and total disgust. I'd had sex with Goyle! My tongue had actually been inside a _Slytherin's_ mouth! _Euch!_

I ran for it, just as Goyle slowly clambered over a desk to get at me, so he could beat me up, I suppose.

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Hermione and Harry stared at me in utter amazement as I scrambled hurriedly through the portrait hole, gasping for breath

"Er… Ron?" Hermione hazarded. "_Why_ are you wearing oversized Slytherin robes?"

"I couldn't find my own robes this morning," I replied over my shoulder. "Harry. Have you ever, _ever_ used Polyjuive Potion to imitate Goyle since we tried to get into the Slytherin Common Room?"

He shook his head in bemusement, and my world crashed down around my shoulders.

Oh _damn_.

It wasn't the first time I'd had sex with Ha- Goyle. Mind you, Goyle _was_ an absolutely _brilliant_ kisser.

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AN: I am twisted. You review.**


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